He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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