so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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