dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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