You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
a search helicopter?!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
