I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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