Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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