nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
