Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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