i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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