Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
