I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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