well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
