any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
