dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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