come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize