smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
