I hate your face
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
