Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
