I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
