You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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