Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
