What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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