Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
