didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
