watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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