as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Are my feet made of real feet?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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