no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
