My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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