Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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