plz talk dirty to me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize