There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
