i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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