new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize