nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
