I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
