Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i drank out of a bidet.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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