If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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