That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am spending my child support on dildos
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
