Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
