He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm like, not good at living.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
