I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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