I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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