actually, I'm a sock model
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
