Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
