Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
