I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I understand Curling. That high.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize