all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize