I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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