I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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