Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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