Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
