i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
