I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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