Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
