I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
