Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
