Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
