Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
