I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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