oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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