This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
