Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
